Showing posts with label riding the subway in New York. Show all posts
Showing posts with label riding the subway in New York. Show all posts


Vagina Down Coats

Photo: shot on iPhone

I'm sure these are warm, but I don't like the way they look and yet they're everywhere in Sheepshead Bay and Brighton Beach. These coats make women look like they're coming out of a vagina - all over again. Welp. 


The Early Morning Chatterboxes

Photo Credit: Ryan Casey-

One of the downsides to public transportation:

Nothing ruins peace and quiet while you're trying to sleep en route to work like two loud parakeets who look like Mrs. Doubtfire. Talking non-stop until the train literally screeches and drowns their obnoxious voices.



The Graffiti Artist

Photo: shot on iPhone

Because it wouldn't be New York City without a talented graffiti artist!
** This made my day :)


The Seat Hogger

Photo: shot on iPhone

How big is someone's vagina or penis that it needs its own breathing space??


The Loud & Obnoxious Yuppie "Super Mommy"

Have you ever wanted to bitch slap a parent for their kid's misbehavior? Thousands of times!

We've all seen (and unfortunately heard) her, and secretly want to throw a shoe or gelato at the bitch. Mommy of the Year gets on the train at Times Square with her children who are jacked up on sugar. She's louder than they areand she wants YOU to know she's a great Mom!

Mom: Violet, Violet come here. Come sit here sweetheart.

Child: bouncing around and hops on the seat like a damn kangaroo

Mom: Sophie, Sophie come sit next to Violet!

2nd child: squeezes on the seat next to sister. So now there's TWO kids invading your personal space.

I turn to the kid and give her a dirty look so the Mom can see that #1) her kid is misbehaving and #2) not everyone finds children cute; especially when they're behaving like little assholes.

Mom: Sophie, put your feet down because you're disturbing our friends around us. We don;t want to make our friends and neighbors mad, right?

At this point, this cunt who is used to preying on people's guilt from giving her rugrats dirty looks, looks for remorse on my face. And here goes my look...

She then looks nervous and FINALLY gets serious, and asks her children about settling down. As she gathers her rugrats, she makes her way to exit the train, and as she turns, you notice that her sun dress was so short, that the bottom of her butt cheeks are saying, "Fuck you" to me. SMH.

My only wish? Was that she turned down her LOUD, yuppie, husband-is-probably-sleeping-with-his-secretary stay-at-home "Mommy" obnoxious voice. THAT more than anything, was the most offensive part of the subway ride. 

That's all.


New York, New York

photo credit: Verbal Misdemeanors
You're never alone in New York. As you power-walk towards your office, you march to the beat of the garbage trucks honking their horns, being driven by burly Irishmen.

And then, you see your neighbors...a Caucasian female Meth Head with advanced formication sleeping next to her African American partner. Occasionally, they alternate signs: "Pregnant and Hungry" and "Homeless and Hungry."

They've made a nice bed for themselves here and can somehow sleep through the trucks that park right next to them to unload merchandise or prepare for construction on the building they are loitering next to.

Gotta give it to them though, it takes guts to leave your money out in the open like that.

New York, New York!


The Beyonces of the World!

But seriously though; the gang of teenage Honeys on the traindecked out in their finest Forever 21, Charlotte Russe or Rainbow club gear. Strutting down the train cart like it's a runway. You rule!


Sports Guy

A random man is standing on the train, and a shaggy guy with unruly hair looks over at him and starts laughing. Then this psycho mess begins..

"You like sports? I love sports!"

(joker smile)

"Some people become really pissed off. I'm not pissed off. It's just shitty that people would rather spend $2000 on seat tickets for s shitty Knicks game instead of feeding starving children."

(still smiling joker-style)

"Complete bullshit. What about you? You take drugs? Pot? Nothing wrong with that!"

(gets off train. Guy he was talking to turns to a couple and says:)

"If he wasn't getting off at this stop, I was. Shit"  


The Teeth-sucker and Loud-mouth

Credit: Train Pigs FB

Young black girl talking really loud on her cell phone, while propping the phone on her shoulder and chin as she stuffs her face with Dunkin Donuts:

Girl: Yeah...I told that nigga to get out ma house... I don't care...

*clicks/sucks her cheeks and picks a piece of doughnut*...

Yeah. He called me and I told him I was leaving. Uhum...don't give a fuck...

*clicks/sucks her cheeks and picks a piece of doughnut*...

I came in, got my shit and told him I was leaving. Yeah...well, where you wanna go? Ima get this nigga back, watch...

*clicks/sucks her cheeks and picks a piece of doughnut*...

We'll see. Wait. What?? I can't here you (voice gets louder as the train goes underground). Can you hear me? I'm on the train! Can you hear me??

YES. We can ALL here you girl.


The Black Evangelist Lady

Sometimes they look crazy and homeless, other times they come on the train and stand very poised, well-dressed and with a thundering voice. This one was the latter preaching:

And all of you think you're so smart and above everything but the Lord is the only One! You ain't never gonna see redemption until you find Jesus! And I call out to Him, "Help them, Lord! Help them see the way!" I know that's right. Kids these days. Wasn't like it used to be befo'. No ma'am not no more. Help them Jesus!


Crazy Homeless Lady

Old Russian Lady with pink Blossom hat, smeared lipstick and a giant mole on her left cheek talking to herself, and then turning towards the young Russian girl talking on her cell phone. The lady keeps waving her finger in disapproval as the young girl tries to ignore her and face the other way.

What was she saying? I don't have a clue but the occasional horrified look on the young girl's face tells me she was saying nasty things to her.

Four young black teenagers (12-15?), look at each other and then look the other way as they try to smile away the horror of witnessing this caliber of crazy.


The Affirmationist

You see, I know why this relationship didn't work out. I didn't ask the Universe exactly what I wanted.  So now when I get home, I'm going to ask It in detail, the kind of relationship I want next. Because you know, the Law of Attraction doesn't only work for my professional life—it also works for romantic relationships as well!

The Career Maven

I'm my line of work, sometimes you can tell where someone is in their career by just talking to them and looking at them.